wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
