What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
