remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
