And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
