Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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