just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
