Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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