his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
