38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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