Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
