Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
