I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
