I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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