I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I wish there were birth control emojis
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
