Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
