Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my shit smells like andre
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
