I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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