oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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