Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
