You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am naked and annoyed.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
