Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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