Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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