He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
