i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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