I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
