I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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