I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
