OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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