The maid of honor just puked.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
