Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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