I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize