This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
