I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it's like heaven, but drunker
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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