NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
