i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
