it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
