I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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