If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
