U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
