Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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