I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
North Korea, Best Korea!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
