I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
