1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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