She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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