You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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