I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
