That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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