I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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