Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
