Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
