Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She's like a pop up book from hell.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
