Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
