Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
