it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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