3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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