cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize