I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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