I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize