your room smells of hookers.
And success
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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