There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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