I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
