Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
