You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize