so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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