Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
