Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
