Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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