i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
birth control should be required to get into college
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
