So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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