oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
