i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Are we still banned from the library?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
