Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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