So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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