It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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