i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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