so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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