chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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