How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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