This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize