Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
