Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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