So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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