Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
