Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
