So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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