I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
